ytd's post was gone, typed so much and i lost connection suddenly, and its all gone. too lazy t type again. but ytd was a very fun day <3
next, today. its easter sunday went to church but didnt attend the easter service well bcause hmmmmm lets just say tht place is filled and theres no more room for us.
its so up and down today, sorry nick. i didnt mean t do tht it wasnt really on purpose and i really wasnt pms-ing. but thank god he was alright later.
but i wasnt. i really really cant control my emotions, i cant keep my own emotions to myself. i tried, but i always fail in the end.
sorry jere for... hmmmm everything.
sorry to ivan for dao-ing you.
just dont know whats happening tday, first i listened to say goodbye on the bus. and i started to tear abit cause i miss harmony alot and those memories just flashed back. those fun and laughters we had. but life has to go on and we have to move on too. i knw, but i'm just you know, MISSING THEM A HELL LOT.
and thn when we were at PS, i was whining about them going t th arcade, didnt wanna go. but we still went bcause i know they really wanna go. and there isnt anything to do there. hopefully the atmosphere will lighten and everyone will be happy again. cause when we were at starbucks, it was , wrong. yep and i felt bad bcause i think its my fault for making everyone so moooodless.
arcade was fun, lost my ring while playing tht machine.
after tht nick went for lesson, me j and ivan walked around.
and i started to feeeel it again.
you know what, if you know me, you'll know how much i hate HATE not being happy.
and i'm not perfect, much as i love t be happy, there are times when i'll be really down. like waaaay down, and i just couldnt help it. i tried to cheer myself up.haha
and i didnt mean t walk faster and thn walk slower when you walked faster. sorry
perhaps i wanted some time alone. i didnt talk alot today, didnt laugh as much as usual. i'm quite tired, not physically but emotionally drained. i know i have no excuse to be emotionally tired, bcause urmmm.. actually i dont even know why i'm feeling "DRAINED", seriously.
so its a " yiqing's-wanna-be-alone-day" today.
sigh, i wanna like laugh all day, but somehow i cant seem t cheeer myself up.
this sucks, i think i suck tday bcause i've made everyone around me feel so i-dont-know-how-to-say-but-it-sucks, so much tht i think they're irritated by me.
there's alot of feeelings within me now. and there's no way i can put it into words.
i promise i'll try to be happy again asap, and i'm reallly sorry for today.
you know, i just dont feel me, and it really scares me, bcause it has been quite a while ever since i last felt this way. i'll cheeer up real sooon!
I'M FEELING REALLY BAD FOR TREATING YOU GUYS LIKE THIS TODAY.
POOOF EMO-NESS SCREW YOU.

realise i've been constantly looking for a pillar of support, i wish i was strong enough so i wont have t rely on someone else t cheer me up, so that i knew what t do when i'm feeling so sucky, when i'm waaaay down. its esier t cheeer others than cheeering yourself up isnt it? hoho i love cheering ppl up cause somehow i feel this sense of accomplisment when i see them smile. <3 dear god, please make me a stronger person... and a happier one too. amen

love, yq