EDIT/
realise what i've typed are rather irrelevant and mundane. so i deleted everything (: i'm feeling so guilty, life's really different without it. like i've lost something important, no i've not lost it! i've tried denying, but somehow i know its getting further, and it will, if i'm not holding onto it. dangs, because of my lazy-ness, because of the hesistation. ): i feel so intimidated ( not being competitive ) but everyone around me is moving on, improving. yet i'm still stucked right where i was last year. i'm sorry this is kinda depress-y but i've not talked about it bcause i've been pretending that this feeling doesnt exist, that i am not intimidated. but now i know, ignoring it wont make me feel any better.
its time to find that passion and the love, the motivation oh and the strength. yq&YQ will be back (: i promise. and i dont wanna anyone down.
( oh great, its the AFTERMATH. its POST.ms dangs! well, if you get what i mean. sigh )

- seeking solace and comfort.

"life is alot like a clarinet. you've got your ups and downs, highs and lows. There are the seemingly meaningless days of the throat tone between F and B flat. There are the high notes of days full of worthwhile risks. Then there are squeaks where everything seems to fall apart in your face. There are stunning crescendos and monotonous mezzo pianos. Major, good days; Minor, bad days. A complex system of keys and holes to cover. So many choices due to alternate fingerings; some are better than the others. The soft, calm days of the chalumeau register. Some days you're in tune, some days you sound like a dead goose. Yes, life is like a clarinet. It'll always turn out right in the end, just the the beautiful final note in a Camegie Hall solo... "


love