I said a prayer
That someday I would find a boy
And together we'd find joy
Maybe someday
And he would care
About the color of the sky
About the things that make me cry
Maybe someday




seeeeeeeriously i dont know what's the problem with me.
trying my best to fight off that feeeling. i don't wanna succumb to it.
highhopes always means disappointment when the hopes are dashed or when things don't turn out the way you expect them to be. which happens most of the time.
i'm lying to myself if i said i was ok, when fact is, i'm affected by every sentence. it struck me like some big dingdongbell. the "oh i dont think you care anymore. whatever "-thing will ring in my head.
then i'll laugh at how silly i am. and then i'll get scared, bcause i've become materialistic(not in the context of money-stuffs.but if you get what i mean) that i'm so hard to satisfy.& this feeling has been on-going for a week.
you don't deserve someone like me.
whatever happened to the happy&gay girl i was? at least i was contented at least i knew what'd make me happy.
SO, point is, i'm not gna be who i am now. i feel so superficial, and i dont like it. and because you don't deserve someone like me now, i'm gna change, i'm gna pray everynight. i'm sure things will be okay.

-----
talking to nick was, gooood.
i felt so much better after that.
anyhows, i'm feeeling better now.dont worry

GRAND FINALS :D
told you ! so damn proud of you <3
-i love you

hugs&kisses