maybe what my dad said was right. i should grow up and leave the comfort zone
i feel spoilt bcause i always get what i want ( almost ) like this laptop i'm using. it cost quite alot and they still bought it for me. throughout these few months since O levels is over, my friends have been working and what have i been doing? - i literally slacked my whole "holiday"
i did nothing constructive, i did nothing to be proud of. and thus i gained nothing
when i need money i just ask from my dad, and he'll just give cause i'll start whining.
whenever i go out, he'l ask me if i finished the allowence he gave, 8/10 times, i would say yes and he will give me more and add on saying, " learn how t control ..."
guess i've beeen taking this for granted and what he said really knocked some sense into me.
hello yq, 17 years of your life, you've beeen living on your parents. its time you should start saving which means lesss indulgence, lesss sakae trips, less cabs, less starbucks, less movies, lesss shoppping ( UNTIL I SAVE UP TO A DECENT AMOUNT then maybe i'lll consider ) haha easier said than done, think i've been telling myself to save like, A HUNDRED TIMES, but it never last for more than 2 weeeks.
i feeel like crying now, not bcause i'm feeeling emo. not bcause of you
but bcause my dad works so hard and i have to be sucha spoilt daughter of his and spend so much of his money. you wouldnt wanna know how much i send per month. he comes home late everyday, 365days a year, the only time he rests will be CNY period, but thats for 3 days only. so like, 362 days working full time in the shop of his. many times, i would just stay up late just to say " hi dadddy, you're back " and then i'll go and sleep. or use the toilet excuse just to say that.
my mom, i know i've been sucha bitch tht she wish she never had this daughter. never failed to piss her off whenever she's in singapore. and you know what, i only get to see her ONCE a month, for about one week or less than that. and i have to freakingly piss her off each time. sometimes i just didnt mean to raise my voice, i didnt mean to start a quarrel with her. and there were times she broke down infront of me and i didnt know what to do. and my sis and bro had to comfort her, and i would just stand there wishing i was braver, i wish i knew how to express whatever concerns i have, i wish i knew how to express how worried i am. but i always failed to do so. what a lousy daughter right. she sacrificed time with her kids, seriously me and my sis were the lucky ones in the family, sorta, well ever since my brother was in primary 1? mom has beeen sent by her company t be th branch manager of th company in thailand. and this explains why we dont see her that often. she lives alone in this apartment there, really dont know how she survived there alone. thats my mom, she's forever putting on a brave front.
thats my mom and dad. well i couldnt ask for a better one, bcause they've been the bestest mom and dad i could ever wish for. the sacrifice, the love, the hope for a better future. the hardwork, the pain, the misses, all for us. i mean, sometimes i wonder how selfless they can be. i think mom&dads in the world are almost the same, most will live not for the sake of themselves but for their kids. well, i dont think i'll ever know how selfless parents can be until i've become a parent myself. BUT, that would be a LOOOONG time from now.
thank you for everything daddy&mommy <3
seriously, i wanna do more, not for myself but for everyone.
not bcause i need to do, but bcause i want to do.
nt becaue i'm not blessed enought, but bcause i wanna share the blessings that i have with all those that needs it.
not bcause i'm not loved, but bcause i wanna learn to love by loving.
right, so much for typing and tearing at the same time, its so retarded.
goood night

love,
yq <3

ps/ get well soon! ^^