i didn't know it'd be so hardthank you thank you thank you :D
woke up early in the morning to practice, its the BIG day
recieved a msg from xueqi saying something "bad" happened to jrmy when he was performing
was quite worried, but had total faith ! prayed for him and stuffs, thank god ! the prayers workd
rushed to esplanade and met sam xueqi etc. for the results
i could still vividly remember that scene when they announced jeremy's name
SAM RACHEL AND XUEQI were BOUNCING OFF THEIR SEATS, sam screamed
ULTRA MALU-ED haha, then they ran all the way to cookie shop and told him the good news
i was standing afar, then heard the SCREAMS => i was happy for jeremy
HUIRONG too! :D aww so proud of my junior!
then it was my turn, i had no confidence at all, morale was super low
i just want it to be over and done with
when i was at backstage, I WANTED SOOOO MUCH TO WITHDRAW, but i thought again, i will be disappointing alot of people, my teacher my friends who came down to support me
when it was my turn, i just told myself, this is it yiqing, just do whatever you can and leave the rest to god.
i guess 1st piece was alright (abit too long)
2nd piece was CRAP SHIT ! played the wrong tempo, played wrong chords. got cut halfway through the kuai ban. i was damn scared. but i just bow and left the stage- traumatized
was VERY SADDENED really felt like crying. i walked away silently
then xueqi called saying she's already outside . didnt wanna see anyone cause i was really feeling like jasbfsaghoas! i knew i was about to cry any moment, i didn't wanna go back to the recital studio to listen to the results. so they followed me to the cookie shop =>
ROCKY ROAD CHEERED ME UP !
results was announced and i got 3rd . mixed emotions, sld i be happy that i got 3rd or sad that i didn't get 1/2nd? did some thinking i thought that i should be happy
because i didn't lose anything, instead i gained.
i managed to overcome my stage fright ! => so happy for myself !
my yin se improved
my tai feng improved
at least people can feel my music now :D
so i didn't lose, in fact i won!
i'm gonna practice even harder and continue improving until the next competition
i can do it, so xueqi ! you can too alright, u just have to have this faith in yourself
after that went out with sam xueqi jeremy nicholas jake ivan. talked at starbucks
they were sooo mean ! especially samuel wong!
had fun gossiping and talking about some stuffs :D
then went over to marina to meet chunyang and derek , played arcade and had dinner
i won derek in daytona, HAHA !
went for GECO all the way until 10+++ i was SO tired !
behind this brave front lies a lie-this weird feeling that i have whenever i see youi chose to ignore, because ..... yepit's better this way
just came back from lesson not long ago, i wasnt' at my best today, maybe i woke up too early to prac in the morning, so i was literally in a daze tried my best to stay focus but my hands just wont listen. wrist still hurts a little but once i get into the music-thingy i'll forget about the pain, so it'll be alright dont worry :D
after lesson i was into my DEPRESSION STATE, was crying while walking i dont know why, maybe it's because of the stress, the lack of confidence, the lack of faith. one reason, FEAR
so i laughed at myself now for being so silly, i've practiced, i've done it before and tomorrow it will be no different, yes i can do it :D
talking to ivan and xueqi helped me quite alot, so thank god for my friends !
i belive i can do it tomorrow (:
so can HUIRONG & JEREMY!
yays- yiqing cheered up .
ps. thanks ly for coming today, i know its far and you have your lesson too. crazaye girl, love u!
:D thanks for those encouraging words again, u guys really helped me alot through this " EMO PERIOD" but
you wasn't there. shouldnt be expecting much, yes i know
congrats to yunyun for getting 3rd & yiwei for clinching the 2nd prize !
went for geco after the competition, practiced yang guang and gu dao xing
all was fine, until my hurt my wrist, i think i overstressed it AGAIN so it hurts now even when i'm typing. hopefully i'll be fine tmr, yes please pray for me. i really need a miracle now
yiqing is a strong girl, she'll pull through this period, she can and she will !
need t wake up early to prac tmr & settle some stuffs at TJ
right, sleeepy me needs to rest . TAKE CARE PEOPLE !
p.s : i love my friends!
p.p.s : XUEQI since u tag my blog too, YOU'RE MY FRIEND too :D yays
hope to see u soon, when u need someone t talk to i'm always here okies! even though we
may not be realllllly close friends, we rarely talk, we don't meet for movies, we don't even talk to each other face to face. but i promise i'll be there !
Sunday, December 10, 2006
i really dont like the so called "darkness" of this competition
right, fact is i'm afraid of it
feeling rather depressed now, emo shit firstly bcause of the results for yq open
-> which was SHOCKING, traumatized
i got enough of stuffs to worry about, so i can't be bothered by some things that people say, some things that people do. i hope this is PMS so tht i can get over it soooon cause this feeling's kinda sucky and bad . shooooo!
cheer up cheer up! =(
yiqing's very worried and abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz .
finishd my preliminary today, thank you to all those that came down to support despite the early hours, without the encouragements and faith, i would have done worst than what i did
woke up at 6AM, i couldnt sleeeep the night before, i was literally stone-ing on my bed, that feeling is horrible with wild thoughts that run though yr mind..headed for esplanade, met derek and the others. crapped and stuffs, met rina! thanks for the hot pack, it really kept my hands warm => thank u soo much! then saw xiaole and geckies, talked laughed etc. then i went backstage . i swear its the part when you're waiting for your turn that's torturous, my heart was beating fast "lub-dub" x 1254674872 / sec !
soon it was my turn, i didn't know what to do. i remembered that lady at the door asking me i was ready twice, & twice i said NO I'M NOT, omgomgomgomgomg! told myself to calm down
then i jumped at the door, okay stupidly i forgot that the door was OPENED and the audience had a clear view of what i was doing, great -___-
made mistakes and stuffs, wasn't my best, but that was my best on stage and i'll have to accept the fact that i'm not a very good performer b`cause i have SERIOUS STAGE FRIGHT, alright yuheng stop saying there's no such thing as stage fright. haha cause i know myself and this is the barrier that i'll hve to cross by myself. only then i can really express what i wanna express, my music.
results, while waiting for the results, walked around and talked, i didn't even dare to listen to anything, i was isolating myself from the reality at that point of time. that was th 2nd most torturous moment of my entire life. i was blasting ly's nano, MUSIC OF THE NIGHT, beautiful indeed, indulging myself in music...i wasn't confident whether i was able to enter the finals, i wasn't bothered, fact is, i WAS VERY AFRAID. until geckies and many others rejoiced when the last number was called out. [ NO.11 ] they rejoiced i was happy yet at the same time worried, because i know i have to practice extra hard for the finals. i was still in a dilema ....
"Don't worry if God is for you who can be against you.. " my friend sent me this, thank god and thank
YOU if it wasn't for this, and your faith in me, i wouldnt have done it :D
rumours spoil friendship, so please stop the rumours cause there's nothing going on at all
just friends, and i'm happy that way :D
Congratulations to all those who made it into finals
HUIRONG
JEREMY
ZHIWEN
JINGWEN
JUNWEN
PEIYAN
DEREK
LIMYANG
LIMQING
WANHUA
SHUNTA
WANGLONG
CHINGI
QIN KAI
SHIWEE
JESSICA
STANLEY
MARILYN
-sorry if i missed out any of my friends, cause i really can't remember..
Thursday, December 07, 2006
ly's beside me now...haha stupid, should be practicing ! =P
her competition is later, its gonna be so interesting, but seriously listening to qin qiang for 48 times i'll end up zzz-ing..hence, SMART me will be going for the 2nd half since more geckies will be playing at that time, sorry that i cant make it to watch the ones infront, but yea, you know MY SPIRIT WILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU GUYS =D
went TJ early in the morning, was rather reluctant to wake up,
the cab uncle was funnaye la, when i said i wanted to go BEDOK SOUTH, he told me he had a shock of his life, along the way, he was nagging at me =l
then had the audition, met laoda and beekwee, i was SOO embarassed when they asked about my results la .
so now i'm at ly's house..messy messy -____-
hehe! lazy girl everything just throw anywhere tsk tsk =P
right, tmr's 8th :D i can't wait! omgomgomgomgomgomg
thats it for the first half of the day, will update later !
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
firstly, congrats to both teams from GECO & also PA for getting into the finals for the ensemble category (: also to denise, cenyun & zhiwen's sister for getting into the finals today !
you see, with me there to support them, they got into the finals, aww :D
so dont worry, i know you willl DEFINITELY get into the finals on the 8th !
going TJ in the morning for an audition, i dont really feel like going, but i need a platform to perform, okays i think i'm selfish, for that reason, just for a sense of security to ensure that i will not have stage fright on the day of competition itself.
-the ugly side of humanity, utter sadness D:
LY's competition's tmr too, pray and hope she'll do well !
gonna meet her tmr i think after my audition in TJ. all the best twin, i believe you can!
went to yunyun&cenhui's house tday
damn fun laa (:
played O2 jam and "cooked dinner" and their mom's sick =(
i hope she gets well sooon !
all the best to those taking part in tmr's erhu YOUTH category
there are too many for me to name, but you guys know who you are (=
will try to watch if i can make it, may my luck and blessings reach you guys in time
do your very best and shine
I LOVE YOU GUYS!
especially those from cchmsco, geckies!
<3
i miss the ooinnk already :D
Monday, December 04, 2006
hellllo c:
so i guess we're like on a rollercoaster now, moving slowly to the top
then soon we'll reach the peak of the rollercoaster ride, and soon we'll just ZOOM down
before we knew it, it'd be over. some their roller coaster rides end there, while for others, there's another steeeep slope awaiting...
TMR'S the ensembe for both the GECO groups, good luck to all, especially CONBRIO
i really hope we'll do well =D xiaole is suppose to come over now, but she's still eating i think..
had dake yesterday, got no comments, but i had fun talking with del minchao & lerxian!
yays- playing gu dao xing with lerxian was really fun =D
---- suppose to send me pic, argh! where is he =( hehe
alrights, woke up early in the morning to meet my bimbo friend - DELPHINE @ marineparade
yays! she passed me the costume for my competition. NICE-
then had breakfast together & she's going to HONGKONG today with her boyfriend (:
del has been talking bimbo today..! haha =P
going over SCH later for rehersal
rahs, I SO WANNA GO CLASS CHALET ! like SOOO MUCH
sorry harmonians, i dont think i can make it today, maybe tmr after my competition i'll rush over? but i can only stay over for the night, the nxt day i neeed to go home and practice again.
sigh, guess you guys will have fun without meeeee ): BUT I KNOW U GUYS WILL MISS ME !
YKT, stop denying =)
have fun people, I LOVE PRACTICING
p.s: thank you!!!!!!! minchao for your qin zhu
p.p.s: thank you!!!!!! lerxian for being so kind, by letting us use your qin
p.p.p.s : thank you!!!!! BIMBO del for your blessings and for believing in me oh! and that costume (: i love you !
& MANY MANY more for always beliving in me really (:
-----<3 for encouraging and cheering me up, always !
Friday, December 01, 2006
if i ever offend any competitors for this competition, i sincerely apologise.
this is my blog and this is how i feel so i'm writing how i feel about this competition now.
9TH DECEMBER, Esplanade-Recital Studio 0900 hours
been reading some blogs, well some things do bother me
do you guys agree that "competition will still be competition.."
despite teachers/parents/adults going, " it doesn't matter if you win or lose"
fact is WINNING IS EVERYTHING IN A COMPETITION, undeniable
who goes for a competition and hopes that he doesn't win?
well there are SOME, a pathetic few that really compete for the sake of experience
but as i've said, winning will always be what you reallly want & 2nd comes the experience
humans tend to be greedy, once u get 2nd, you yearn for a 1st
if you had a pager, you'll yearn for a handphone <-- get the idea?
when there's competition, it acts like a catalyst, causing the greed within us to grow
-we, being the vulnerable human, will eventually lose to greed and before we knew it, even before the competition starts, we have already lost to ourselves
i guesss these are the bitter truth of competition
i feeel ashamed of my teacher's students. i really am
looking at the "alliance system" within ourselves, i laughed at our childish acts
where has all the teachings gone to? i thought music will allow maturity to grow in us?
& to that person who said, " its the competition. its the number of people who are supposed to be in the OPEN category who still want to stay in the YOUTH category that is freaking me out" sorry to that person, cause i ripped the whole paragraph. i sensed the sacarsm and i'm pretty sure she was refering to me. who are you to say WHO SHOULD BE IN THE OPEN AND WHO SHOULD BE IN THE YOUTH ? get a life and grow up girl (:
okays, first its the --- against ---
soon it'd be US AGAINST US (how ironic)
so i guess its time we grow up and start looking things at different perspectives
HEALTHY COMPETITION- at least i hope
enough of all these "nonsense and childish acts" by yours truly
bye-
the above is 100% pure yiqing's thoughts
if i ever offended anyone sooo badly because of this post. i sincerely apologise once again especially to those yq ppl, you know who you are....
because i really need to vent this out or i'll explode like mount merapi
Sureeporn Ho YiQing♥
seventeeeeeen
i love the music & the SUN, omgosh!
BEACH!
" Dear god, please make this world a happier place. Amen"
cause you are special, everyone is special, everyone in his or her own way :D
i'll love all who loves me too! :D
p/s : i love you(s)
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